VERSE 1 Hey, little outpost. You're in trouble. We got the drive and we got the need. Yeah, we're coming! On the double. Looking for women doing party-light speed! CHORUS We're roundin' up the star girls. We're havin' slappin' leather interstellar fun. We're trekkin' off to distant worlds. Burnin' through the coal bins by the tonne. VERSE 2 If you giggle, and you're pliant And you're curvy then we're lookin' for you. In our starship, semi-reliant. With a CB and a transport tube. CHORUS

When she appeared He took my hand In front of me His Phaser drawn I caught a glimpse And fragged a moose How life could be He was the one And we did love For 'bout an hour Somewhere between Phasers & flowers The sweetest voice, those lovely hips What mesmerized me most Was how she cracked that whip No lesson learned is harder than You cannot take the thrill Of warp speed from a man I hid the tears I got confused Then he returned To worlds afar Ne'er looking back In dusty boots Not least concerned With stale cigars The heights of love Fell like a tower Somewhere between Phasers & flowers

V1 Why are you always on the run? Drawn to the brilliance of the sun. Facing the thrill of adventure Blazing a trail few could endure Finding your place out among the stars, Western stranger. V2 Forever wandrin' like the wind. Ready for action when it begins. Walking the path of a hero. The odds of failure are zero. Conq'ring the cosmos no matter how far Western stranger. Stranger, our restless silent savior!!! So our glorious hero sets off on his big quest. Yea, yea, yea, yea 'Cause Big Jim he's reknowned for being the pest. Oh, yeah... it says 'best' right here in the script there Big Jim Ah, sorry about that, yknow... V3 You're happy gambling with danger. High bets and raising the wager. Reaping the winnings wherever you are. Western stranger.

VERSE 1 Hey, little outpost. You're in trouble. We got the drive and we got the need. Yeah, we're coming! On the double. Looking for women doing party-light speed! CHORUS We're roundin' up the star girls. We're havin' slappin' leather interstellar fun. We're trekkin' off to distant worlds. Burnin' through the coal bins by the tonne. VERSE 2 If you giggle, and you're pliant And you're curvy then we're lookin' for you. In our starship, semi-reliant. With a CB and a transport tube. CHORUS

Born near the center of the galaxy Was the son of a coalminer's daughter The place? The planet of Sulfuraan. Hot, windy, with very little water. The demand for good food there was very high To sustain the hardworking laborours So, deep in the heart of Blacklung Highlands, This boy, Joseph, grew to be a baker. Joe's choice of career didn't come just by chance It was written in the stars, you see. For when Joe's hardworking mother ended each day She'd relax with some snacks and some tea. Joe was immutably hypnotised By Mom's cooking and a whistling kettle And, before that boy grew to 5 years old, He'd mastered the kitchen and the use of it's metals. King of steam. King of steam. Come time when Joe had grown old enough To help with the bills of his home He got a job in the back of the galley Of the grand foodstop, The Smorgasdome Joe had no idea how this would effect His somewhat wee, tiny world. Until he laid eyes upon a glorious sight... Yeah, you guessed it - the dessert chef, Tammy, a pretty young girl. From the moment they met, the flames were bright And from more than just the ovens. For Tammy and Joe had each found an equal To their mixing, and baking and lovin'. It seemed nothing could or would ever distroy Their passionate, heated affair 'Til a butter tart recipe argument Burnt their love beyond all repair. King of steam. King of steam. In no time at all, Joe took to turning The crumbs of his broken down heart Into a finely ground sense of focus Of the comestible delivery arts. First, he improved the entire 'Dome's kitchen To which it had all worked out. Cause his goal was to create the most salivatory dish - The Pressed Ham Roundabout As it happens, Sulfuraan sits right in the middle Of all the galaxy's trade And here's where Captain Sheriff Arbutus Longdog's Entrance is now conveyed. Longdog eventually caught wind of chef Joe And Joe's amazing and succulent dish And Arbutus is just like us... Sampling the Roundabout was his wish. King of steam. King of steam. Tracking down Joe and the Smorgasdome, Longdog ordered himself up a plate. And mere seconds after digging into the meal Arbutus had a plan for Joe's fate. But when he asked his waitress about this guy Joe, Longdog was surprised to hear Joe's talents were many lightyears beyond Differentiating a colander and a coquetier Into the kitchen went Longdog And quickly he'd cornered young Joe "The Roundabout's made by the power of steam? Please tell me, I really must know!" Joe, with reluctance, confirmed that it was, 'Cause he improved the galley himself. Longdog was stunned by the admissions Of that boyish, little red headed elf. King of steam. King of steam. Captain Longdog had good reason for questioning Joe To which now becomes very clear His starship, the new Toasted Western, Was in need of a head engineer. Joe listened to Longdog's disclosure And right there was offered that job To help serve the galaxy alongside the crew Of Kidd, Shlabotnick and Squab. It's said Joe showed no hesitation Yearning for life's grander romance. He packed what he could, said goodbye to his Mom Taking off to the unknown expanse. Let me give you, dear friend, some priceless advice You surely reap what you sow So learn what you can from listening to all Of this ballad of Engineer Joe.